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Parents Zone

Playing and toys

April 2025

Shirley LooPlaying and toys

Child, in my memory, you rarely asked me to buy toys during your childhood. I wonder if this has anything to do with that time when I took you away from home to “Fun World.”

Do you still remember standing in front of that plush toy? I made up many stories, saying that Ning Ning wanted to take them home, and they cried, saying “they didn’t want to leave their own home.” As a result, you believed it to be true and your heart softened, and you no longer pleaded with me to buy the plush toys. But it also let us know that plush toys were your favorite, so whenever we went on business trips, we would buy one to bring back for you as a souvenir. Do you still remember Dutchess, the cute brown pony?

Aside from plush toys, my memories related to toys are quite vague. I only remember singing games around the dining table after meals, playing with paper balls when you were recovering from a fever, and building sandcastles with you on the beach and catching crabs by the rocks, none of which involved spending money on toys.

I also remember setting a rule back then: no video games at home. You begged many times, asking why we couldn’t buy an X Paradise to play at home, and my response was: “Once a week at your cousin’s house is enough!” I wonder if this kind of “persistence” made you feel uncomfortable. I hope you understand the good intentions of your mother, which was not wanting your thoughts and attention to be captured by video games. Seeing you recently bought a video game console with your husband and are enjoying it at home, you’ve finally found someone to play with, haven’t you?

Recently, your father and I browsed through a toy store for a while, seeing a dazzling array of toys for adults, children, and babies. But we still firmly believe that no matter how fun toys are, they cannot replace the time parents spend playing with their children. After all, toys are not meant to “pass the time” for children, but are tools for creating happy moments between parents and children!

Ho YingToys 

When I was young and went shopping with you, I would always see children crying and screaming at the entrance of toy stores, clamoring to buy toys. However, this situation rarely happened to me, not only because I had a deep affection for every toy but also because I had you to play with me, making every day feel new even if I was looking at the same toys. The stuffed toys at home would not only perform in stage plays but also interact with the “audience” (which was me), and they would go shopping with me and chat with “friends” on the street or in the stores.

The only toy I really wanted but never got was a video game console. Every weekend when I visited my cousin, he would always play different games with me, like basketball, ones set in the Warring States period, and racing games, which made me want to own one so I could play at home. But you would always say, “It’s good enough to play with your cousin; we don’t need to own one.” Honestly, I really hoped that one day, when you came home from work, you would bring home a box of X Paradise, but that never happened.

Now that I’ve grown up, my husband and I finally bought one to take home. At first, I was very excited, thinking that I could play as soon as I got home. However, there were a few times when I was alone at home, I would play the video game for ten minutes and then do something else. It was then that I realized that what I enjoyed about playing was not the game itself, but having someone to play with. So, what’s important is not the toy, but the interaction with family and friends.

Children of today’s generation seem to only play games on mobile apps, and toys have gradually lost their status. Whether in restaurants or on the subway, the laughter of children is less heard, replaced by people of all ages looking down at their phones, the adults reading the news and the children playing video games. Most mobile games are single-player, merely interacting with a pre-programmed system, lacking the exchange between people. If possible, why not put down the phone, take out a stuffed animal or a robot, and bring the child back to that world full of fantasy and innocence!

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Parents Zone

Emotional Language for Parents and Children

April 2025

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist

                    Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

Growing up, we are seldom taught to express our emotions verbally. Schools and society focus on nurturing children’s cognitive, analytical, and problem-solving skills, so we are used to discussing things and opinions, and rarely express our emotions directly in words. Even when families communicate and talk to each other, we are not used to sharing our feelings.

Some parents may ask, “Isn’t it enough for me to express my care for my child through actions (such as hugging or kissing him/her)? Is it necessary for parents to verbally affirm and respond to their children’s feelings and needs?

While it is important for parents to express their love for their children through actions, it is also important for parents to respond empathetically to their children so that they can understand and accept their thoughts and feelings in a more concrete and tangible way. This not only strengthens the parent-child relationship and builds the child’s sense of security, but the child also learns how to verbally express his or her feelings and needs, which helps reduce the need for the child to express his or her inner turmoil through bad behavior.

In fact, the language of emotion is not the language we are used to. Many parents are concerned that affirming and empathizing with their children’s negative emotions may condone and exacerbate their children’s bad behavior. For example, when a child feels sad about the loss of a beloved object, parents are afraid that rehashing the incident will touch on the child’s sad feelings. Parents may say to their children, “It’s okay, just play with something else! or “Try to see if you can buy another one instead. Parents want to calm their children by solving their problems.

However, not only do children fail to learn from their parents’ responses how to access and understand their own feelings and effectively regulate their negative emotions, they also have no opportunity to learn from their failures and develop a sense of responsibility.

If parents can put themselves in their children’s shoes, understand their experiences from their children’s perspective, and try to tell them how they feel, even if it is as simple as “I think you must be very sad and upset about losing your beloved object. This is the most powerful support and comfort for children, giving them the confidence and courage to face the challenges of life.

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Parents Zone

Losing Control at Night

April 2025

Written by:Yiu Yee Chiu, Chinese Doctor

Every parent hopes that their child will develop well and quickly, even if they may not surpass others. In medicine, there is a condition that falls between “disease” and “physiology” that greatly troubles both parents and children. This is “pediatric nocturnal enuresis.”

Pediatric nocturnal enuresis is a stage in physiological development, but if a child is still unable to control their urination and wets the bed after the age of 5, it becomes a problem. Pediatric nocturnal enuresis can be divided into two types: primary and secondary. The former is due to pathological reasons, such as spina bifida or developmental delays. The latter refers to when a child has previously gained control but then loses it for some reason. The most common cause is an unexplained developmental delay.

Medication, Physical Therapy, and Lifestyle: A Tripartite Cooperation

From a Chinese medicine perspective, the generation of urine is related to multiple organs. The main causes are kidney qi deficiency, spleen and lung qi deficiency, and liver channel stagnation and heat. Clinically, kidney qi deficiency is the primary factor. Unlike adult enuresis or secondary enuresis in children, the condition generally improves after a few months of treatment. However, the treatment must involve a combination of medication, physical therapy, and lifestyle adjustments.

Chinese Herbal Treatment: The main herbs are Mulberry Twig, Medicated Leech, Rougan, Schisandra, Yam, and Mulberry Parasitic Plant.

Physical Therapy: Acupuncture and massage, focusing on the bladder and kidney channels on the back.

Strict Diet: Avoid cold, raw foods and beverages to prevent further damage to kidney qi.

Diet Therapy: Incorporating walnuts, lotus seeds, and Dioscorea as side dishes or desserts.

Pre-Bed Warm Compress: Every night before bed, use a warm compress on the bladder shu points along the bladder channel. For better results, you can wrap the compress with a cloth bag containing roasted fennel, white pepper, or Sichuan peppercorn.

In fact, nocturnal enuresis is not uncommon, and the vast majority of children will fully recover. Therefore, the most important thing is how to help the child smoothly transition through this stage. If parents handle it improperly, it may affect the child’s self-esteem. Therefore, it is crucial to consult a doctor for a proper examination and diagnosis to truly help the child.

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Parents Zone

Do children need to wear sunscreen when the sun shines?

April 2025

Written by:Dr. Chang Kit

With modern information flow is well developed, many health care-related knowledge is easily available. One of the things that people will increasingly understand is the importance of sunscreen protection. Too much UV light accelerates skin aging and increases melanin production, resulting in pigmentation. Although UV rays themselves are effective in helping to produce vitamin D and absorb calcium, Hong Kong is on the edge of a subtropical region and is exposed to more sunlight each year than the upper northern hemisphere (such as Canada and Europe), so even with sunscreen products, there are still many opportunities for exposure to the sun.

Don’t children need sunscreen?

Adults, especially women, are aware of the importance of sunscreen protection. This includes applying sunscreen regularly every day, replenishing sunscreen regularly and avoiding outdoor activities during the sunniest hours (10 a.m. to 2 p.m.). In addition, you can also use a wide-brimmed hat and wear long-sleeved clothing. However, have you ever heard parents say, “Only adults need to wear sunscreen, not children? There are many parents who believe that children do not need sunscreen. There are three reasons for this.

  1. children need more sunlight to be healthy

  2. sunscreen is a chemical substance, which is not good for children’s delicate skin

  3. it’s not a big deal if your child gets a little more sun.

In fact, this is not the right idea. First of all, children basically don’t know how to protect themselves or how to avoid the sun, so they are “at risk”. Moreover, children’s skin is thinner and more tender than that of adults, so they are more prone to sunburn and sun spots, and therefore need more protection. On the other hand, the sunshine hours in Hong Kong and China are longer than those in Europe and North America, so the exposure to sunlight is already sufficient, so as long as there are normal outdoor activities, there is no fear of not having enough UV rays or vitamin D.

Choose the right sunscreen

As for the chemical nature of sunscreen, you should know that there are two types of sunscreens, including chemical and physical. The former needs to be absorbed by the skin in order to have a sunscreen effect, while the latter reflects sunlight on the surface of the skin. Therefore, if you are worried about the harmful effects of sunscreens, you can choose the physical type, such as zinc oxide. In addition, parents should not forget that clothing itself is also the most effective sunscreen, so wide-brimmed hats, long-sleeved shirts and long pants are very important.

What will happen if you do not protect yourself from the sun?

  1. General blemishes and freckles, especially on the nose and cheekbones
  2. Skin sensitivity due to repeated sunburns
  3. uneven skin tone, especially if sweat spots are also present
  4. Roughness of the skin
  5. Microscopic blood vessels and cherry nevi on the epidermis

When parents understand the importance of the above sunscreen, they should no longer tell others: “Kids don’t need to use it!

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Parents Zone

Why are children always distracted while eating?

April 2025

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team

Many children aged 4 to 5 tend to look around and fidget during meals because they are not yet adept at using utensils. Additionally, their short attention spans, still-developing sense of time, curiosity about their surroundings, or even a desire to avoid eating may contribute to their lack of focus.

Short Attention Spans

Children aged 4 to 5 generally need longer meal times than adults. This is partly because they are not yet familiar with using utensils, which can lead to clumsiness, and partly because their chewing and digestive abilities are still developing, necessitating longer meal times. Furthermore, due to their short attention spans, low self-control, and lack of time awareness, they are easily distracted by their environment. When they become engrossed in something interesting, they may even forget about their meal in front of them, often requiring repeated reminders from parents to continue eating, which prolongs mealtime.

Parents dealing with children who have short attention spans can try to create a consistent, quiet, familiar, and simply arranged dining environment. They can set a reasonable time limit for meals and remind the children periodically of the time limit to ensure they finish their meals within that timeframe.

Curiosity About the Surroundings

Additionally, some children are naturally “observational” learners with strong curiosity, often learning new things by observing through their eyes. Even during meals, they might look around, continuing to learn. Although this behavior might seem like they are not concentrating, they rarely “forget” to eat; they simply continue eating while indulging in their observations. For such observational learners, instead of letting them look around, parents might consider engaging them with books during meals to foster a reading interest.

Of course, there are also “mixed-type” children and those who look around to avoid eating foods they dislike, deliberately delaying or performing small actions to draw attention. Therefore, to address the issue of children looking around during meals, parents need to carefully observe and understand the underlying problems.

 

No Need to Rush Meals

The pace of life in Hong Kong is fast, and meal times are becoming increasingly shorter. Sometimes, seeing children eat slowly can make parents anxious. Ultimately, if time permits, children should be given ample time to chew slowly and savor the taste of their food. Lastly, parents might consider reducing the portion sizes for their children, making it easier for them to finish their meals at the table. This approach can reduce potential conflicts at the dining table and increase the children’s motivation to eat more when they feel hungry.

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